Two Weeks with the Queen

Dear Your Majesty the Queen,

I need to speak to you urgently about my brother Luke. He's got cancer and the doctors in Australia are being really slack. If I could borrow your top doctor for a few days I know he/she would fix things up in no time. Of course Mum and Dad would pay his/her fares even if it meant selling the car or getting a loan. Please contact me at the above address urgently.

Yours sincerely,

Colin Mudford.

PS: This is not a hoax. Ring the above number and Aunty Iris will tell you. Hang up if a man answers.

If you want something done properly, Colin reckons, go straight to the top!

After all, if the Queen can't help, who can?